Is anyone else sick of the bull**** terms revolving around pregnancy, postpartum, and aging? FUPA, mommy tummy, c section shelf, muffin top, love handles, gut, mom bod. No my feelings aren’t hurt because these terms might be used. But when you talk about yourself with these terms or in a negative manner, how does it feel? What do little girls, hear when you say it? Does it give you feelings of confidence? Warm and fuzzies? Probably not. It is time to change language around pregnancy and birth. Also, if someone makes promises that they will get rid of these bodily changes, it’s more than likely snake oil.

Comparison Game

Skip those broken promises and stick to the facts. Snap back and bounce back culture. Celebrities have chefs with meal plans, fitness instructors with time to fit in workouts, and medical providers with the newest top notch techniques. Don’t follow bravolebs, but have a Susie down the street with killer genetics and a nanny? She has her issues and challenges too, pinky promise.

Fears of Motherhood

They are bound to happen as fear and vulnerability are a party of life (for good reason).  It can start during fertility and conception, road blocks of ovulating or grieving during miscarriage, followed by trying again with intense medical interventions. Been drilled into the risks of pregnancy, pain in birth and delivery, “just waits” and “what ifs”.

Although you cannot control certain aspects of your birth/postpartum/raising children, you can chose who and what surrounds you and don’t you forget that. Family, friends, paid support, church, and any other communities. If you don’t feel like they’d stick up for you without you there, they don’t deserve to be by your side.

Having a new baby brings on many changes and shouldn’t be tackled with a mother being in constant pain. She cannot care for her child without pain, cannot enjoy intimacy with partner, and that requires help from others. If there’s one thing, I’d suggest to another mother… it’s don’t down play your symptoms. Pelvic heaviness, pee or poo leaking, pain with intimacy, emotional rollercoaster rides of hormones, raging cramps, achy joints, you name it. We know our heart, body, and mind best, listen to it!