The husband said “why didn’t you write a blog post this week”. Insert eye rolls. Also insert, he wasn’t trying to be a jerk, he’s just my editor-in-chief and IT guy for the blog, so he was wondering why he had the week off and if he would be provided with vacation pay or not. 

Let me tell you why. Because I’m exhausted. Exhausted from the demands of being a GD mother. I usually somewhat present to others with having my shit together, but stressed internally. That’s been the last year for me #thankscovid and more than likely, many moms. No this isn’t complaining, it isn’t a cry for help. Just merely stating the facts. I friggin’ love my life, including my babay monsters and IT/editor-in-chief husband/landscaper. So here’s a friendly reminder, you don’t have to be all the things to all the people all the time. 

Sawyer is a 4.5 year old, insanely smart extrovert child who says “mom play with me” at least 573929 times a day and half the time no preschool because of debatable holidays, pandemics, and snow days. Bless his sweet heart. Cecilia has been doing physical and speech therapy several times a week, not to mention we are doing exercises nonstop at home because I’m a drill sergeant occupational therapist trying to get as much as we can out of the day. She had a lip and tongue tie procedure this week to release the ties, in hopes of improving her speech and further development of her mouth. 

During a talk with a neighbor, who is also a speech therapist, she said something along the lines of “parents want to be parents too instead of constantly working on helping their kids with whatever deficits they have. They want to put bows in their hair and play care-free games with their kids. Instead they worry.”  YUP emphasis on the “worry”. We all are guilty of it, that anxiety that creeps in at all hours of the day, whispering those negatives and nasty thoughts that are so far from being accurate. Do not succumb to the negativity that binds you down, but find ways that works for you to climb through those not so enlightened moments. I’m no pro, but these are the tips that guide me to a “smile and nod” through it mentality in order to get to the next light-hearted and fully loved moments. And don’t worry, there’s no special drink that’s going to give you energy in the mentions below. 

1. Breathe, big ole deep breath in and out. I’m talking breathe in, fill your belly up with air, expand your ribs, raise your collarbone, and big long breath out with a “sigh”.  I know what you are thinking “please shut up yoga girl.” But deep belly breathing is proven to help, you just feel better after doing a few rounds #science. Or just take a moment of stillness to breathe, yeah I know next to impossible. Lock yourself in the bathroom, step on the front porch, turn on the kid “shows” and provide a favorite snack. 
2. Prioritize. Here ya go my proof-reader/IT guy- this is why I didn’t write a blog post last week. Because it wasn’t a priority. Yes, i love doing it. It’s way more fun than Instagram and it’s bologna, but I had to get my ducks in a row and base my checklist off on what was important to do *that week*. Sometimes you just have to decide what can be crossed off the list, and what can’t. 
3. Write it out. Another one that’s annoying sometimes. But nothing like pen to paper or fingers to keyboards. Visually seeing your to-do lists or journaling can heal the soul and manage the stress. Where my post-it loving babes at?!
4. Ask for help. Time to take off our high waisted pride pants, it’s hard because they are compression friendly, and curve-flattering. God forbid we get some help from family or friends or even *pay* for a babysitter. On Mondays, Cecilia goes to our heaven-sent in home babysitter. Sometimes I’m working, sometimes I’m not. I don’t usually tell people this because I get a “must be nice” or “wish I could just drop off my kids for some me-time”. Yes it cost money, but it’s some of the best money we spend. A whopping 4 hours means, laundry, dishes, catching up on emails, blogging, napping, pedicure, or grabbing groceries. Do I want to send my kid to their Mimis who has strong parenting opinions….she loves my kids and they love her and don’t forget that help is necessary for survival. 
5. Do something for yourself. Full on force it. This ties in with asking for help, bc its nonexistent when kids are present. The last two weeks I forced myself to go to early morning yoga classes (crazy person status), because there would be no solo time and knew how busy and stressful the day was, so having a fresh and grounding start was pertinent to not loose my shit. 

Motherhood weaves like vines, with twists and turns and thorns and flower blooms. And just when you think you’ve got it trimmed and edged throughout the different seasons, another piece grows out of the vine, that is an entirely new species with little to no resources on “how to manage.” 

During Cecis speech evaluation, I was asked if Ceci verbalizes when she wants or needs something. And I kept saying to her “honestly I don’t know, I just give it to her because I’m a bad mom.” To which her response was simple yet, enlightened me. She said “no you are a GOOD mom.”  As moms, we question if we are doing whats “right” for our kids specifically. And the biggest takeaway I love from my prenatal/postnatal yoga training recently is that is intuition isn’t in your imagination, listen to it. Ever heard someone say “go with your mom gut,” it’s legit and I suggest to listen to it! Because y’all are saints!

Love and Light,

Becca